she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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