we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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