someone get that fucking seahorse.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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