Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
