You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
