I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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