I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
