I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
