i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
