ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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