I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
