Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This house was built for laser tag.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
