Your tits are I can't wait for
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
