it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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