We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
