U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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