the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
