please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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