you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
