did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
