theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize