it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
