And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
