The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
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In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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