No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
