there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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