i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
