He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
