After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
