First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
