We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
