You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
