just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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