I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
