At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
