Its about making memories worth repressing
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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