I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
