i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be still, my beating vagina.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize