are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
