Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
