okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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