Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
