You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
