I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Actions speak louder than pants.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize