Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
