I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
