Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
