well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
