I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Barsexuality is the new black.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
