i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
