Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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