we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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