some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
