we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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