The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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