Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Randomize
