Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize