these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
