I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
