Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
