i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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