I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize