so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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